An Idiots Guide to Writing Shock Gaming News Pieces

  • Game-X Anticipated To Create Problem-Y, Experts Say
  • Mass Murderer Linked to Game-B, Games Are The Problem
  • Child Spends Too Much Time on Game-C, Parenting Not To Blame

At some point in modern media, you will likely have seen one of the three headlines I’ve created above. The above headlines have been created for satirical purposes, but without me disclosing that, you’d probably think they were quoted from a real article.

It demonstrates just how easy it is to write an article like this, and I’m going to teach you step by step how you too can write shit like this to create mass hysteria and pass the buck onto a scapegoat.

Step 1: Find a subject that uninformed audiences can relate to

  • Children or dependents
  • Spouses, deteriorating relationships
  • Abhorrent recent event or tragedy

The key to making your target audience care about what shit you’re producing is to find something that they can relate to.

Children or dependents are usually the go-to for these types of shock articles, because when it comes to getting all pissed off over something, innocence is always a safe bet.

The typical war cry of the would be shock journalist (or an unnamed lobby group we all know)

For added salt, you can use an abhorrent recent event or tragedy as your subject matter and achieve the same results. It’s the spicier approach, and will generate a fair bit of “cheap heat“.

Step 2: Pick a popular or trending game title, and villainize it

Fortnite: Notoriously violent game where players kill and mame each other. To death.

As humans, we seem to be attracted to hating what is popular. As a media mainstream media shitbag, you can capitalize on this for clicks, views, or whatever else drives the revenue into your pocket.

The important thing here is to put the blame on an external factor, and drive that home with your comments. People need a scapegoat to focus their outrage on, because almost never will they assume any sort of personal responsibility on the issue.

Remember, it’s your job to make them see that.

Step 3: Completely ignore any kind of logical or rational causes, and just blame the video game

This just in: Water is known to be wet.

This is absolutely critical to your news piece. Under no circumstances can you forsake adding this to your article, video, or other media.

The entire idea of the article is to create enough stir to have people hear what you have to say, which in turn generates clicks for ad-revenue or views for ratings. Without it, you might as well produce something factual.

It can be literally any circumstance that you can blame a video game with. Be it that kids are spending to much time on the video game and ignoring their parents pleas to stop, or a mass shooting where the perpetrator played video games and thus made him do it. Be creative.

Step 4: Back your piece up with an unnamed studies, or “Expert” opinions

Without someone backing you up on your piece, you’re going to look foolish. That’s why it’s important to have some kind of “Expert” present some form of vague study (with actually naming it, of course – god forbid that you actually check the facts).

Now, this “expert” doesn’t have to know anything about video games. The only requirement for this is that they need to be able to form verbal sentences and attended some form of higher education. The most common choice is a psychologist with a leaning-opinion that fun of any capacity is bad (or at the very least, has a similar opinion to yours), and have them push that during an interview.

Completely true image of a kid after playing five minutes of Fortnite.

You can also have someone who is educated on the topic and have some form of debate, but this doesn’t have the same intended effect. Rational discussion bores an audience, and doesn’t help your bottom line.

For extra points, you can have a “potential victim” add their bit. Either by just sitting there playing a video game for the camera, or interview them as well. Pick your poison.

That’s it. It’s as easy as 1-2-3, or in this case 1-2-3-4. Now you can produce content like this on the regular and just change out the subject matter like you would change your underwear.

Disclaimer: This post is entirely a piss-take and shouldn’t be used as an actual guide. I personally detest media outlets that produce this garbage.